The Guest House: Befriending Emotions
The Guest House
by Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
“I’m nervous. It’s so annoying. I just don’t like feeling things.” This could easily be many people I have worked with over the years in hypnotherapy. However, it is actually by befriending our emotions that we are often able to walk through our lives with greater self-love, confidence, and clarity. It can be difficult to stay with and process our emotions. They can feel a bit like flies buzzing in our ears, unpredictable and annoying. The desire to swat them away can be strong. However, learning to walk beside ourselves as we process a range of emotions has huge benefits in life.
It is easy to walk into a hypnotherapy session hoping it will somehow fix the “true” problem–the emotions being there in the first place. However, what hypnotherapy actually does is help us process big, pent up emotions and learn how to befriend our ongoing emotions over time. Let’s dig into the purpose of emotions.
So, why do we have emotions?
Emotions serve many purposes for humans. These purposes range from personal to interpersonal, biological to psychological. Here are some of the key roles emotions play in our lives as humans:
Survival and Alertness: Emotions like fear and anxiety have evolved as a survival mechanism. They alert us to potential threats and dangers in our environment, prompting us to take action and protect ourselves.
Communication: Emotions are a universal language that allows us to convey our feelings, intentions, and needs to others. Facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice all play a role in nonverbal emotional communication.
Social Bonding and Relationships: Emotions enable us to form and maintain social bonds. Empathy, compassion, and shared emotional experiences strengthen connections with others and foster deeper relationships.
Decision-Making: Emotions play a significant role in decision-making. They help us prioritize options based on how they make us feel and guide us toward choices that align with our values and desires.
Memory and Learning: Emotional experiences are often better remembered than neutral events. Emotions enhance memory consolidation, aiding in learning from past experiences.
Motivation and Goal Pursuit: Emotions serve as powerful motivators. Positive emotions like joy and excitement drive us toward rewards, while negative emotions like frustration push us to take action and change our circumstances.
Self-Regulation and Behavior Control: Emotions help us regulate our behavior. For instance, feeling guilty may prompt us to correct our mistakes, and feeling anger can motivate us to address injustices.
Coping and Adaptation: Emotions provide coping mechanisms for dealing with challenges and stress. They allow us to process difficult experiences and navigate changes in our lives.
Identity and Self-Expression: Emotions contribute to our sense of self and identity. They help us understand our preferences, values, and emotional responses, enabling us to express our individuality.
Health and Well-Being: Emotions influence our physical health. Positive emotions are associated with improved immune function, reduced stress, and overall well-being.
Artistic Expression and Creativity: Emotions inspire artistic and creative expression. Music, literature, visual arts, and other forms of creativity often draw from emotional experiences.
Problem Solving and Adaptability: Emotions help us identify problems and find solutions. They guide our responses to challenges, encouraging adaptive and effective problem-solving.
One helpful way to think about emotions is as guides. They help guide us towards true expression, problem solving, making decisions and changes in life, and even safety. They also help guide us into deep, meaningful relationships with ourselves and others. This is why it can be helpful to befriend our emotions. Let them in and ask what they are here to offer you.
Hypnotherapy creates a safe container for feeling and processing emotions. This practice in hypnotherapy can help reduce fear and resistance to feeling emotions in our everyday lives. Processing emotion is different for everyone and I encourage you to see a licensed therapist to help you learn if you feel unsure how.
